DO YOU EVEN LIKE ME?

Have you ever had a day when you just said (or thought), "I wonder if God likes me." My roommate and I were having this conversation the other day. Life has been a little beyond interesting lately and the storms have definitely been beating the you know what out of us. Basically, the fire has been a bit hot, friends. God refines and disciplines in ways that are quite frankly painful sometimes.

Now deep down I know I don't have to wonder if God like me. Of course God LOVES me. I know that...He doesn't have to prove it because He already has. But sometimes as a humanoid living in this fallen world, the questions start to creep in and I find myself looking to the heavens and crying out..."God, do you even like me anymore?"

Well...today was just the opposite. I left work saying..."God must really like me today." Now I know the theology is all wrong...I know that. I'm just saying. And I think God is okay with that...in fact, I think He was probably getting a kick out of it. He's like the parent that just sits back and laughs when the kid finally figures out that what the parent said all along was true. How long ago was it that He sent the message to me to just BE STILL...? Three months...I did okay, except for maybe the last couple of weeks. I have been disciplined...and I come back wondering how I ever could have doubted. He didn't promise me anything. In fact the message was just that...Kayla, I'm not promising you anything except MY presence. I'm here...and it's alright (even if you can't pay your bills right now) I KNOW. Trust ME.

Deep down I knew that no matter what, He is a GREAT God. That's not changed in the last two hours. Just because I woke up with one job this morning and left work with another job to start on Monday, doesn't mean that He liked me any better at two o'clock than He did at six o'clock. I'm just saying...though probably not very well.

So, if you ever wonder if God likes you...I've been there too. But for me today... :) Monday I get to be a therapist again. It'll be tough. In fact, Monday evening I may wonder what I've gotten myself into, but I know that for the next part of my journey, this is my place. I can go back to just being still and letting Him be God...why didn't I just let Him in the first place?

i am not

(KJo)

Time for an update...

Well...it's been a while. I'm sitting on my couch listening to the sound of the rain, which I love. I was reading a really great book, but decided I needed to check my email instead. Then...I decided to check Kara's blog and see what's been going on in Seattle. Finally, I figured that it was probably past time that I update my own. So here it is...

Have I ever mentioned that I love the mountains? No?...well, I do. Since I've been out of a job (more coming on that topic very soon) and my parents decided to go on vacation a month later than normal, I decided I'd go with them. So...the one good thing about being unemployed was my second trip to the mountains this year.
One beautiful day we rented a jeep and drove up the mountain to the beautiful lake in the picture above. Despite my claims that we almost died three times, Klay actually did a very great job driving. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to attempt the hour and a half long drive up that sometimes extremely narrow, sharp-curving, super steep drop-off, rocky road he so expertly drove us up. Kudos to you Bink!
It was so cold when we got to the lake...seriously, we were almost at the top of the stinkin' mountain, but I decided that I actually wanted to make it to the top...or at least attempt to make it to the top. What you can't see in the pictures is just how steep this mountain is. Somehow, I convinced my uncle Wayne and my little brother that we should start hiking up the thing. Klay eventually puttered out on us, but Wayne and I made it over half-way up before realizing that we didn't have enough time to make it to the top. We had to stop every so often to catch our breath and make sure that our hearts didn't beat out of our chests...something about high altitude, I don't know. It was a nice hike though, thanks to the big horned sheep trails. Maybe next year we'll actually make it to the top.

Here's a look at the lake from where we stopped climbing. It looks so little from this vantage point. It was a beautiful view.
So...these pictures are just a few of my favorite river shots. I love the sound of the water rushing down the mountain. My cousin Matt and his wife Emily were able to come out Labor Day weekend and join us. They've got two of the cutest kids on the planet. This picture of Wyatt is my favorite. Nana and Darla were making him laugh and he kept wrinkling his nose. It was way too cute.

It was a great trip to the mountains with the family. I was sure glad to get home though.

So...job news...I've got one. I start this coming Monday at TLC in Olathe. I'll be a Residential Case Specialist at the Residential Treatment Facility for adolescents...hopefully in route to therapist. We'll see. At any rate, it's a job. Praise Jesus! However, it looks like for the time being I will have to get a second job to make ends meet...still working on that one.

Everything else in life is still moving along as it always was. Nothing too excited to report...other than it's football season again. :) Rock Chalk Jayhawk! Not much else happening... I'll be sure to update sometime next week with how the new job starts out. Until then...I'll be enjoying the rain.

KJo